Last post before exam tia karang!!

Wah!! The weather have been absolutely gorgeous!! Alhamdulillah... I am very happy.. Last week, kan keluar pun malas/takut sebab either sajuk or kan avoid kana tangkap basah if hujan.. Masa ani, sangat indah! Reflection matahari arah dog poop on the sidewalk pun macam shimmering work of art olehnya!! Anyways, past two days ani, i feel so very healthy.. Been eating right (need to shed some fat I gained during easter holidays) and exercising whatnot.. Its not without obstacles though..

A few days ago, i wanted to use the treadmill. There was a vacant one near the tv, so i got on it.. At the time, the treadmil directly in front of the tv was occupied by this rather large lady who was holding on to the rail while walking on the treadmill.. Tiba tiba, bau yang dahsyat dan sangat overwhelming menimpa hero kita!! This lady had THE ******* WORST BO (body odour) in the history of my stay in Gillingham!!! Masukkan ia ke kandang BABI, BABI pulang yang BERLARI KENCANG KELUAR KANDANG!!! Anyways, I had to get away. Kana bayar pun nda ku mau sebalah ia ani, takut ku ada radioactivity or apa apa yang toksik keluar...I went to the water fountain sebagai alasan untuk lari.. I bet the lady terasa because she went away jua.. I went back to the same treadmill, hoping to have a decent workout.. Then after a while, a lady of similar size got on the treadmill next to me.. It was the SAME LADY!! She had changed her shirt and sprayed perfume on.. Palui kalinya aku ani.. A changed shirt cant fool me, kenal ku masih it was her "kali ah, bulih".. Anyways, the smell seemed to have gone and i already got to 600 meters or so, so i kept on going.. Alas, I was wrong... When she grabbed the handles and exposed her armpits again, the smell seemed to rush straight into my nose holes (lubang hidung cakap melayunya) and menusuk ke kalbu abis peramba... Nda ku tahan! I had to cut my run short.. Inda salah saya, ani abad ke 21 dan SABUN (sama ada biasa mahupun anti-bakteria) sudah pun dicipta dan boleh didapati di mana mana kedai runcit.. Aduhai.. ani orang inda berdusa (yakni diri saya) jadi mangsa..

"Jangan biarkan anak kecil anda berkeliaran berhampiran kandang babi.. Pikirnya aiskrim karang.."

Anyways, im just looking at this piece of paper I posted on the wall.. Its my set of goals for my body fat percentage. As of today, it has been eight days in a row that ive gone to the gym to run and do some resistance training. Im glad aku keeping up with the goals I set and inda hangat hangat tahi ayam (siasiapun, batah udah nda makan ayam..).. Hmm, who came up with that phrase anyways?? Imagine ku maybe dulu-dulu ada this farmer menanam and kehabisan baja. And suddenly, ayamnya beria and ia pun laju laju ambil kan pakai tahi tersebut dijadikan baja..

"Ih!! Hangat jua tahi ayam ani!!"

"Lai! Kemari kau kajap! Rasa ni tahi ayam ah!! Panas!! Nyaman rasanya!!" ia panggil bininya

"Gali ku bang eh!" kata isteri farmer tersebut

"Nda jua tu bang!"

"IH!! SAJUK TIA!!" farmer tersebut berkata selepas memegang tahi tadi sekali lagi..

So lahir tia phrase "Hangat hangat tahi ayam".. In my head at least.. Haha, of all the things kan ku bincangkan.. Baik jua host Rampai Pagi nda macam aku.. Anyways, mun ada orang tahu d actual way the phrase was born, or was around when the phrase was first said (i would doubt that) gitau ku ah.. Another possible explanation was a that group of scientists researched each and every shits known to mankind to see which one cooled down the fastest.. In which case, i suggest these so-called scientists to be knocked on the head, forced to run next to the stinky lady I mentioned earlier and that new scientists to be hired in their place.. Macam macam lagi perkara lain dapat di research..

Anyways, this is a long blog, so I hope u can bear with me.. Aku save kajap ah.. WAH!! Now blogger saves my drafts automatically!! My life is once again, bearable!! Haha.. but seriously, makin convenient.. Next thing I know, typing can be done by just clenching my butt.. Hahaha...

Moving on from my voluptuous bottom, last week, i went to town and saw this "Mobility scooter" which had the brand name "Forever Active". What the F?? FOREVER ACTIVE KEPALA HOTAK MU BERJAMBUL!! I saw this dude who was AT MOST forty years old pakai a "mobility scooter".. Its a frickin' electric wheelchair is what it is, is what it is... Sheesh.. The brand name should be "Arthritis-mobile" or "Geriatrico-move-your-ass-never-again-omatic" or something like that.. Not, "forever active".. Urang nda bekaki lagi mau kan bejalan, dorang tah pulang mensiasiakan kurnia ilahi.. Malas hantap.. Bukan marah.. Geram.. Kegeraman yang berapi..


I may sound harsh, but come on, mun banar banar payah berjalan ok lah. Or mun tua sudah, ani muda muda and sihat masih.. Mun saja malas, membari sasak.. Trafik saja jalan raya olehnya.. I mean, there are other ways to travel without walking. Basikal ada. Mun payah, pasang roda damit. Or kuda kah, atleast macho jua lagi than these "mobility scooters".. Denial dorang ani calling it that.. Its like calling George Bush a "President" rather than "Prick who is in charge of other Pricks and Prickettes".. Disgraceful.. Phew.. Sabar, sabar.. Breathe in... And out... Ok, im cool, im cool.. Anyways, I saw this video on youtube.. It is of a movie involving a very cool horse stunt..



HAHAHAHAHAHA!! WHAT THE F?? this video actually made my day.. MJ thriller spoof sudah, kuda sliding under truck sudah, kana timbak inda mati pun sudah!! Kreatip dorang ani eh, terpegun saya.. Kenapa warga brunei inda tepikir kan buat kuda sliding bawah trak?? HAHAHA!! Good stuff.. and to conclude this part of my post, another video from another tamil movie showing what other powers they have.. I swear, mun Heroes ada karakter tamil, he would be the leader and would have the best abilities!! But that would be unfair, so dorang nda jadi put such a character in..




Gotta love the stylish moustache flicking at the end.. Anyways, since ive been talking about tamil movies for quite a bit, its time for something thats:

"Sediakan payung sebelum tahi pigeon melanda.."

Dengan itu saya sudahi dengan wabillahi taufik walhidayah, wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!