Making good use of your looks.

Assalamualaikum! Funny thing happened to me last month. I was on the way to the train station to go to Canterbury one evening when this bald, stocky looking dude who was wearing a leather jacket came up to me. I realised he had a big can of Stella Artois in his jacket pocket as well. So he sez to me "Hey, can u help me out?". This dude wasnt being specific and in addition to having to catch a train, I really didnt want to get involved with this bloke. Well, people have always though i looked oriental (so far, ive been mistaken as: Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Bangladeshi, Qatari and Bahraini). So after some hesitation, these words came out of my mouth. "Shorry, no inggerish." The guy seemed slightly dejected but continued to talk, "No english? Cantonese?". IT WORKED!! However, i started to feel uneasy and wanted to get back on my journey as fast as possible. SO I sed for a 2nd time: "No inggerish! No inggerish!" and walked off (at quite a fast pace, might i add). Well, I was lucky the dude didnt realise that my hoody clearly read "University of Kent, Centre for Sports Studies". Ive never been more thankful for having sepet eyes passed on to me from my parents!