What a week!

U know I always sed that im usually around in Canterbury on weekends? Well last week, I was there for 5 days out of the seven~! And I just came back from there last night actually, honorary Canterburian sudah ni aku ani (If a word like that existed). Oh, I have a funny story!! Last week time aku kan balik from canterbury, the train schedule was moved a couple of minutes earlier, so instead of catching my train on time, I missed it on time. And the funny part is when I arrived at the station, I could see the train on the platform dah so I rushed through the subway to the other side and I was relieved because I reached the door of the train before the train moved. So I pushed the "open door" button expecting the train to let me in but the train started to move!! all this while, my hand was still lifted in the air after pressing the button.. SIAL!! I mean, I literally missed the train by seconds. Bah, mun sudah ku sampat takan button palui atu (PALUI PUNYA BUTTON!!). Iatah petua orang tua kali tu ah- "Cacap saja train atu lai supaya inda kepunan." Si sofi was still on the other platform when this all happened. I bet ia pikir I was ON the bloody moving train but sekali the train went past, berdiri ku masih on the platform, stunned by my luck.. Katanya cali.. I beg to differ.. So menunggu tah kami another hour for the next train.. And it was rather cold that sunday night.

UGH.

Here's a random thought: siapa pernah takapit kakinya bawah tayar matuka (motorcar)? Well, aku pernah! It was time balik sekulah ugama (Sekualah Ugama Madewa 4 Life!!) and I was walking beside a row of cars. SO when I tried to walk to the other side, I was too close to this one car and UNfortunately the left front wheel rolled over my right foot (well, not that unfortunate coz ada jua kan ku blog about.. heheh.. )!! To make matters worse, the car stopped while the frickin wheel was still on my frickin foot! I flinched and the driver gave me the look that sed "what's wrong?" I looked back at him, gritted my teeth and I shrugged at him (which supposed to mean "NothingiswrongitsjustyourcaronmyfuckingfootnowmoveyourcarASSHOLE!!) and his car moved (traffic jam wah time anak skulah balik). Anyways, my foot turned out fine (thanks for asking). Keluarga kami andang ada strong feet. (I think it was a hatchback, mun pajero or prado, Si Timpang Hensem tia nickname ku masa ani.. Haha) I remember aku pakai kasut putih Garfield time atu. So I now recommend those shoes jadi kasut skulah ugama anak anak abiskita. Unless kita mau anak kita timpang..

Oh!! My Micro SD card sampai dah! look at how small it is..


Dont you just love it when something you order online arrives! :) So now my phone FINALLY has proper memory!! Unfortunately, I have claass soon so nda sampat isi.. Oh well, karang tah.. OH! to end this post, here are some pics!






P.S. I STILL havent made a post pasal my new house, nantitah, maybe later even mun aku rajin (Im in a good mood masa ani! :)

Seven things..

Dont rub your eyes in disbelief! This blog IS updated.. Its been almost two weeks but i think thats alright coz i update about twice a month anyways. I have been tagged by Jirin so I hafta post seven random facts/travel experiences and/or life facts. So here we go:

1. Aku pun pernah hilang di KL! Me and two aunts were at this shopping centre (di subang kali?) I was about 5 maybe at that time. Ku bawa my aunts ani liat toys (at that age, i was addicted to toys! I think sampai ani I still have a thing for toys!) So I got up the stairs thinking my aunts were right behind me. When I looked back, they werent there!! SO I went back down to look for them but I couldnt find them! (By looking i mean just standing at the bottom of the stairs and looking left and right- a child's effort wah!) When I couldnt see where they were I did what NORMAL kids would do - CRY! This technique worked as i caught the attention of a malaysian man (or woman, i cant recall too clearly). "Napa Dik?" He sed in his/her malaysian accent. "Mama tadi kata nak bawa liat menan (mainan), tapi sudah di atas mama nada" so kana bawa tah ku arah information counter so that announcements could be made. Before the lady at the announcement-making-counter could announce that i was so carelessly lost, she needed my name. "Siapa nama adik?" My t-shirt had my name printed BASAR BASAR at the time (Md Adib). So I pointed at my shirt with attitude (annoyed that she didnt realise it was a name, not a brand.. Baik jua nama ku bukan Kiko.) Anyways, baik jua the lady nda sasak arah attitude ku atu (damit damit nya sudah sarcastic) "Kepada Ibu Bapa budak hilang bernama Muhammad Adib, sila pergi ke kaunter." My aunts (who still did NOT realise I was not with them. Siok shopping udah kali.) heard the announcement, looked back, FINALLY realised I wasnt there, and then sed to each other "ADIB!!" and frantically went to the information counter to pick me up. Baik jua the guy who found me atu baik. I mean, worse case scenario would be me kana culik, aku time damit kiut kali ah.. (Actually, worse case scenario would be me kana culik and then kana jadikan sapak soto, but thats another story)

2. This story also involves my peril in KL (again, I cudnt have been any older than 6). My uncle sebalah my dad dulu ada kana post di KL. So his whole family pun ikut. He got this nice and HUGE house that had a swimming pool. One day, kami semua bersantai dekat the pool. Some of my cousins and aunts were in the pool. They had this inflatable boat that had a rope attached to the front. Usually I wont even go near the pool coz I was afraid of the water (which makes sense cos i didnt know how to swim). I recall asking my cousin to jump in and out of the water like a dolphin.. Typical request from an imaginative boy.. Anyways, my oldest cousin surh kami pull the rope so that the boat wud be dragged to the edges of the pool. when we let go, it would drift back to the middle. There were about 3 or 4 of us pulling at the rope (all kids). At one point, everyone pulled and then let go of the rope but I held on to It (tunjuk kuat lah konon, pakai baju batman time atu complete with cape, batman wouldnt need help to pull a boat right? WRONG!!) The moment the others let go, the boat started drifting back, I remember being pulled into the pool and since I couldnt swim. I started doing the other thing I did know how to do- drown. The weird thing was, i dont remember struggling nor suffering. I was just floating there underneath the water. Everything was blue and it was a serene situation. I did try to scoop my way back back to the surface, but it was in vain. I wasnt down there for long tho. My cousin who was in the boat sed "mana si Adib?", realised I was in the water and pulled me put. TERIMA KASIH KAKA DAYANGKU!!

3. This was time my aunt kan bali kerita baru. Year 2000 i think. SOme dude at this volkswagen showroom was demonstrating the wonderful safety feature their cars had. Safety power windows. He stuck his finger through the window of the car, pushed the button that closes the window and after touching his finger briefly, the window automatically rolled back down so inda lah terkapit jari nya.. WHen i got back home, i tried the same thing with a 1990's suzuki swift.. What happens next you guys shud know..

4. Time primary school, I just loved pranks. There was one prank where I put a water balloon on my friend's seat. She was standing near the chair when I sed "Siapa berdiri, palui!" So she sat down laju laju, maklumlah, siapa jua mau jadi palui kan? She sat down, the water ballon burst and wet her skirt and she paused before crying.. I didnt expect that reaction so I ran to hide in the toilet.. Sampai kana cari cikgu wah! But i didnt open the door.. Sudah abis breaktime baru ku keluar..

5. Time skulah ugama aku awal masuk so I was a year younger than my classmates. I tried the water ballon trick on this huge dude and it did wet his sinjang. Next thing i know I was held by two guys, brought to the tempat berwudhu and the guy whom i just pranked splashed water from a tap to the front of my sinjang. TALUR! Ada patut aku mengatil arah gang leader.. Karma from my previous story perhaps..

6. People always think Im chinese. TIme keraja d HSBC relatives pun think aku chinese. I get spoken to in Chinese. and despite the name tag "Muhammad Adib" i wear during work, i still get "melayu kah cina kau ani wang?" I even confuse the old people yang batah udah hidup di dunia ani (and in their own words, lagi banyak makan sira dari aku). I account this to the fact my mata sepet. And balah my mum and dad BOTH have similar eye shapes so theres no escaping it (Not that Im complaining, I like our eyes! :) ) But there was that one point where luan malar kana ucap bukan melayu that i kinda considered cosmetic surgery (nadawah). But entah ah, i heard ada jua a bit of chinese blood from dad's side (but like generations and generations ago).

7. Last but not least, two days ago, me Jirin and Syazwi makan lunch di Tia. On the menu was bombay potato, since i like d potatoes, ku tanya what the dish was like. The dude said the following (and i quote!!)

"bombay potato? Uhm, its like a potato."

No shit Sherlock..

Thats it for now. But before I go, Id like to tag Haji Muhammad Sofiyuddin bin Haji Sani of Kampung Mata Mata, who now resides in Spring Lane, Canterbury UK to list seven things about himself (Theres no escaping Sof!! Update blog mu wah!!!)

Till next time, Assalamualaikum!

p.s. Sori batah nda update, everyone!

Life updates..

Assalamualaikum! Its a cold and rather dark 6.45am in the UK right now. And i just poked my left eye after my finger slipped while i was rubbing my nose.. shit happens, yeah? Groggy masih in the morning.. haha.. Anyways, i have got absolutely no idea why im up this early since i have no classes today (not tomorrow).. (actually, I had this urge to pee come to think about it..) and knowing me, id never be able to go back to sleep once i got my 8hours. Right, quite a few things happened since my last post. There was the reading week I spent in Canterbury (saw a french gAy, yes, gay) on the train. I usually mind my own business but this dude was acting suspicious. First time he was on the phone, he talked normally but the second time, he covered the mouthpiece (alum get out of closet perhaps?). I did hear a man's voice on the other line but i thought they were having regular conversation. The guy then moved seats to the one behind us and only then he resumed talking like normal.. Like a normal gay that is.. BERLANDIH!! well, dont get me wrong, i still gave him the benefit of the doubt.. Until he hung up.. What straight man would end his phone conversation with another man with "Good stuff, thank you, MWAH! Bye!". Open and shut case, konpom nya orang brunei..

Oh, theres this one pic id like to show you all! :)

HUGE!! Iski kami kan begambar ah..

That pic was taken when we went to ashford. That was fun but i must say we did come at the wrong time of the year. Prices were pretty much the same to high street prices. Oh! I went to London last week. When i was at Victoria station i couldnt decide how to get to paddington, the tube was packed (rush hour) and buses seemed boring.. So I walked.. (I JUST realised that day that the Apollo Victoria was RIGHT NEXT to the station!) It took me about 40mins and 4.5km to walk to paddington but it was a good experience. Come on, how many people could say they felt lazy to get on the public transport and walked instead to Bru hall. (mun ada, mau ku tau siapa.) But seriously it wasnt that bad, i just had to find Grosvenor place, walk along that road and find park lane, and walk along park lane until i find Marble Arch which means i would have found Edgware road. Hmm, now that ive mentioned it, Im going to London later with Sofi and were gonna walk! Kan HRH Sultan suruh tani hidup aktif? :) Anyways, that day i JUst decided to roam around London as well as pick up my TV. (I also wanted to meet a certain someone but sadly I didnt get to.. :( I found The Dorchester on my way to Paddington as well by the way. I think I walked about 10km that day (also walked to Bayswater from Edgware). PHEW!!

My route from Victoria station to Paddington (click to enlarge)

The Dorchester

Hmm, I was thinking, wouldnt it be nice to be able to drive around UK one day? I mean, as long as u got a map or one of those sat-nav thingies i reckon it wouldnt be too much of a problem.. I must say fuel prices do discourage you to drive here.. A mule driven cart would perhaps be more appropriate.. My coursemate once asked if I drive, yes i do i said. Here? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I still need money to eat.. But its really amazing how they could survive with such prices.. And whats more amazing is how much toilet paper they use.. Cubatah beria secara Islam, basuh pakai air.. That would eradicate the "skidmark" situation they have..

Full tank = more than 50pounds. Fill 4 times a month = 200+ pounds.. :s

Yay! I think that concludes my post for now. I'll post another one in about a weeks time (insya Allah). That post will have some pictures of my cosy room! Till next time, bye! P.S. I apologise to those who constantly check my blog coz i havent found the time to update. Thanks though! :)

Margate and Hari Raya and Gillingham.

Its that time of year again where kids knock on doors to get goodies. Nope, not halloween but Hari Raya! Yes, for those who dont know, kids will roam around the neighbourhood visiting neighbours they do not even know to try and get a few bucks. But in the spirit of Hari Raya, houses rarely reject these kids and treat them as they would other guests, with the customary green packets being handed out at the end.

This is my story..

I never understood the logic behind this "malay trick-or treating" as a kid. I mean, if I wanted money, id visit my relatives' houses, they'd usually give more lucrative amounts in those wonderful, wonderful little envelopes (hey, to kids those days any note not coloured blue was a lot!! Ten bucks back then would make you feel golden!!). Anyways, having said that, I went on with my friends one day to go "Beraya" or (بري أ) in arabic (which unfortunately and UNINTENTIONALLY also spells out 'beria..) One of the houses i went, we got served A LOT of mirinda orange.. It wouldnt hav been a problem if we hadnt JUST had plenty of soft drinks in the PREVIOUS 5 houses.. Then the lady kata "Habiskan ah, mun nda habis, nada duit raya ni (finish your drinks, otherwise there will be no money)". Me, being a cute and honest kid (perasanness) told the lady, "Nda apa aku kemari bukan aga duit..(its okay, its not your money i'm after)" Hmm, thinking about that day, I did have fun, but it wasnt because of the money, but it was because i was spending time going around the neighbourhood with my friends. I mean, these days its hard to spend time with your friends like that and it just seems we take those moments for granted. Anyways, that was the first story.

Second story: A week has passed since the first day of Syawal.. Everyone is off to work.. Kids still have holidays.. I am merely 7 years old.. I just took a crap.. I went off to look for my maid (i think it was because i was hungry).. I didnt bother to put my pants back on.. Everything was going fine. I twirled my pants around (i just had a shirt and spindat on) while shouting "Aunty!! Aunty!!" When i went past the guest area, i suddenly felt the presence of people... THERE WERE ABOUT FIVE (YES, BLOODY FIVE!!!) GIRLS (YES, BLOODY GIRLS!!) sitting in the area. They were obviously there to perform the aforementioned "Beraya". I ran into the kitchen, put my bloody pants back on and I told of my maid for not telling me we had guests.. Girl guests.. Girl guests who were my age.. and they saw me in my underwear.. Of course, it was clearly my own fault.. What did i expect my maid to say? "Oh ya! Hari senin adip kecil memang suka pakai spendet nya aja!" THE HORROR!! THE SHAME!! I had to cover my face as I ran past them to go into my mummy's room.. But the ordeal doesnt end there... When school resumed, some girls confronted me.. They said they saw me naked at my house... "I wasnt naked!! I was wearing underwear! And it wasnt me, it was my identical twin brother!" Yeah right.. Of course they probably didnt buy it.. but to this day, i assumed they did so I am at peace so lets leave it at that.. (Also, i hope my kids never get to read this..) Brunei is hot, okay!! pants restrict some things..

Phew~! Its been such a long while since i blogged properly.. Anyways, this year there quite a number of Bruneians studying in medway. Last year, it was just me and Shirley but this time around, theres also Zaim, Yati, Muiz, Syaza, Thet (honorary bruneian), Izzah, Azimah Zimbo and nabilah. So that makes ten! And these are very nice people! So im glad about that. We have board game nights and poker nights and things are merrier than last year. (About twelve months ago, i thought i was the only Bruneian here..) Oh, by the way, we hangout quite a lot so today, we went for board game hunting! We looked at stores such as Cancer Research UK and British Heart foundation (they sell pre-owned board games for almost nothing!) We got cluedo for 1.25pounds (everything was in mint condition and seemed unused - plastic figured still uncut from plastic frame..) Taboo for a mere 50 pence (worth a try, no?) and Zaim got the Therapy game for 1.49 pounds. What a bargain!

Model is available for hire for 50pence per hour (limaposen) on weekends. Terms and conditions apply.

Previously, me Yati and Zaim, along with Canterburyans (??) Sofi and Jirin went to margate. It was a first time for me and I had an absolute blast! One thing worth mentioning tho, dont be fooled by our pics on the beach, we were absolutely freezing!! (yes, cold winds from the ocean + no jackets = extreme cooling sensation!)

Yati inda puasa!!

Zaim control!!

Mari kitani buat macam ani pantai kitani!!

Self explanatory picture.. Ada adult joke shop next to the bong shop as well..

Ahh.. Margate siuk! Next time lagi pigi Insya Allah. Theres this primark store there as well (tho its not as big as the one we have in Chatham, heheh..) To conclude this post, here are some pics of me "Beraya"ing at Canterbury. Till next time, ciao!!

Me smiling wide as usual..

Group photo in front of rumah Jirin

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI. MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!!

AAAARGH!!!

Rumah alum ada internet.. Payah kan memblog.. mambari stiris nyanta!! Lets give it a bit more time before aku update... Until then, doakan rumah ku laju-laju ada internet.. Tenkiu..

Anybody missed me?

Im blogging again! No thanks to Flooble, who cancelled my chatterbox.. Anyways, i got a new one put up and also made changes to the way this blog looks like. Updates!! Ive now moved to 41, Strover Street and ive only got 3 days of school per week! Isnt that sweet or what!! And ive got juniors and plenty of Bruneians studying in Medway this year so hopefully, ive got company this time around (mind you, last year I almost had to bertakbir sorang sorang di bilik.. Baik jua ada abis si Jirin and si Rabz and Ka Nadz d Canterbury).

Hmm, actually i havent got anything to blog about at the moment. But insya allah, there should be a post coming up before the end of the week.

Until then, goodbye!

Im back!!

Assalamualaikum! Batah udah aku nda post anything. maklumlah, been busy. First it was exams, then it was getting ready to go back home, then udah balik ani, makan saja keraja ku. In fact, im pretty confident that im eligible to turn pro soon. Oh, I dedicate this post to Kaka Afiif yang setia mengikuti blog ani.. Anyways, its been a very busy 1^st week. Mengaga my nini, makan, clean my room (many thanks to my sis for messing it up in the 1^st place.. Nanti ko..), and then makan and I also carried out my big plan to surprise my friends! (None on my friends in Brunei knew I was coming back.) Me and effy call this plan “The Plan”.

A month before aku sampai d Brunei, me and my good friend effy ada berkomplot to surprise our close friends d Brunei. I had the idea when I booked my tickets to go back home. “cemana baik ku saprais dorang ani ah? “ so ku contact si effy and I told her I was coming home AND that I wanted to surprise our friends. After a few days of deliberation, we decided that a good way to shock them would be to have a gathering at her place and to give them the surprise there..

We had plenty of time, so we planned each bit of the plan in steps.. to make a long story short, I was to be at her gathering BUT my friends will have no idea who I am, as I was to be dressed in a robe and face veil , which I bought at Ebay for 3pounds (Murah! Kalah millimewah!) . All of Effy’s family members played part in this “pranking secara besar besaran”. Effy’s mum jadi penasihat, Effy jadi the important accomplice, hostess and was also the one in charge of the gathering, Saiful jadi cameraman and Qilah mendangani me time aku tunggu the ppl to arrive (betabiat kamu atu eyh!! Panas kali ah bepurdah purdah di Negara located atas khatulistiwa ani!!) and my mum arranged the catering for the event .

When I arrived in Brunei on Saturday, 16^th of June. I made sure I had plenty of rest coz the plan was to be carried out the very next day! That Sunday, effy picked me up 11 in the morning (mun aku pakai kerita ku kedapatan tia, nda ja?) and ia bawakan jubah jua selajur. I wore the robe and face veil from my house and all the way to Effy’s to avoid detection.. Yes, we made sure no small detail was left out.. even hid my slippers in case takut si nuar kenal.. Yes, si Nuai, (boyfriend si Effy) pun nda tau.. The fun bit was that people didn’t know that effy knew I was going back home, coz I told my friends d UK when I was going back (and I told them to keep it hush hush) ANYWAYS, to make a long story short (again), when our friends arrived, I peeked at them and Icham (who sat right next to the door) saw “me” (already dressed up as Aishah Maisara) and had this amusing look on her face. She just sat there, frozen.. Mwahaha.. Oh, I forgot to mention, Effy dressed me up so well, aku sendiri nda recognize myself in the mirror! Oh, and I like the calak mata! J

Anyways, here are the pics of me getting ready.. (Just so u know, PANAS pakai pakaian macam atu..)

Tube top to accomodate my breasts.. Haha..

Feminising my manly hands..

Eyeliner!! I loved this bit.. Hahaha!

Gadis berpurdah paling macho di pulau borneo..

Gadis berpurdah paling ayu and photogenic di Dunia..

And here is the best part of the whole thing… I GOT IT ON VIDEO!! J Many thanks to Saiful for being the cameraman..

We had fun lah that day, I really missed the guys. And ramai orang kan minjam the niqab (purdah).. The most important thing, we all met, dined and just hung out after more than 9 months being apart!! Bah, alhamdulillah, siap jua post satu ani.. :)